the waiting..... to finish our paperwork!!!

Today, we were supposed to be finishing our paperwork, (or should I say ERIC is supposed to be finishing) but Eric has gotten really sick since last night. Hopefully just a 24 hr bug or something, making it almost over! He is on fall break all week long, and so we have great expectations that it will all be turned in early in the week. Tonight I went to Griffin's 3rd birthday which was so fun. I find myself having different emotions about starting our family, as I have mentioned previously. Some days, I try to rush rush rush through everything to get it done and turned in; other days I am calm about it, understanding that we still have to work and sleep and live life while we go through this process. After being at the birthday party, I am back in rush mode again! I am hopeful though, because I know that my desire to be a mom is from the Lord, as is my desire to adopt. Early on in our infertility journey, I used to feel like maybe I just wasn't meant to be a mom. Maybe I was being selfish and sinful wanting to have children. I have since been reminded that this is absoultely not true. I have to admit something else. This is kinda funny, but mostly pathetic. At our orientation, I found myself looking around at all the other couples and thinking, 'are we better than them,' or 'would we get chosen before them'. Also, I would think, 'man, there are a lot of couples here... i wonder if this will lessen my chance to get a baby sooner'...isn't that awful!!! Instead of being so excited that we were surrounded by so many others who shared our desire and would be providing homes for orphans, I am thinking of myself!!! I confessed this to Eric and to my surprise...he was thinking the same thing!!! We both laughed pretty hard about it. Ultimately there is a child for us. No matter if there are 2 other couples or 100 other couples, it will not change the outcome, and I am so glad for that, that we can rest in God's sovereignty. I enjoy this truth in other areas of my life as well. It is very freeing to me.

About the garage sale... I sent out an email, to those of you whose I have. Again, anyone wanting to donate anything to the sale, just call me or email me. If you don't know what I am talking about, go back and read the blog entry entitled 'California Pizza Kitchen.' We love you all so much, and are so humbled by your generosity, both in giving financially and in donation of items.