10 days old

Cohen is 10 days old about now and is wonderful! He is eating really well, sometimes a little too fast and spits up, sleeping well....during the day!....a common thing among infants, so I am told. But even staying up in the night until 6 am is worth it and I really don't mind! Never thought I'd see this day. His Pops (Kenny, Eric's dad) took some newborn pics of him on saturday which is what is posted. He was so good during the photo shoot! I got to put him in a sweet little train outfit that Eric lovingly refers to as "girly." He looked so precious! We've had tons of company, food prepared, gifts given...people continue to be so generous to us and we are still amazed and so thankful. I am already behind (as usual) on thank you's! We have some showers coming up soon so we went and had a date night/register for Cohen night. His Pops and JuJu kept loved on him while we were away. We went to Macaroni grille, which we love. Eric is really big on us keeping a date night set aside frequently for ourselves. He loves me :-) So all is well here. We are even more in love with this little one brought to us by God and are amazed at His goodness and His love for us. His perfect plan is continuing to be carried out for Cohen's life and for our family. I am anxious about the shoes that I have to fill. I have been entrusted with a helpless, innocent child, one who has been 'set in our family,' one He cares very much for and holds at high priority. I am anxious that I won't be a good enought mom, or that I will mess him up in some way. Thank God for his mercy and grace that I am in desperate need of as much today as before we began this journey. I am priviledged to pray over Cohen and speak positive things over him at night when I am awake with him as "E" asked me to do. I am privilegded to have known E and to get to share her story and her love for Cohen with him. Speaking of E, she will be signing her surrender tomorrow, don't know what time, but PLEASE pray for her, for peace and comfort about her decision and about her future. This might be the most difficult time of all for her as she goes to court tomorrow to sign these papers entrusting Cohen to us. Man, I am still so amazed by her. I promise to share the hospital story soon, but wanted to brag on cohen a little more! Pray for E!!!

first days....

Happy Monday to everyone! We are especially happy here at our house. Cohen is doing wonderfully. He is making lots of noises right now in his sleep as I am typing. Cutest thing I've ever seen! I just had some of you request another couple of pics so here they are. As most of you know, when you have a new baby, you are really busy with caring for him but we have also been so blessed to have family and friends welcoming him home, keeping us extra busy! I am dying to sit down to post about our time in the hosptial, with Cohen and with E. I promise soon, cause you all need to hear about how great she is :-) But til I can do that, maybe tonight, here are some more pics! Thanks for loving on us with your comments! We love them and they will be so special for Cohen to read when he learns how!

Also, look how long his fingers are! He is so big already! He holds his head up a little, and this morning, he pushed his pacifier back in his mouth....by himself! We were so proud. We've changed his outfit seventy times cause I can't quite get that diaper thing right. He pee pee'd all over A.K. and was still really cute!

more pics

Cohen Bennet

Okay, so I CANNOT figure out how to get these really great pics of Cohen onto the page from court's photo album at snapfish, so....I will give you some not so great ones and hopefully get this worked out tomorrow so we can show him off to you all!!! We had a full day, and I do apologize for not blogging well right now! Today was amazing and I am completely in love with another man....Cohen! He is perfect and healthy and doing great. E is doing okay, considering. I will post more later, but we are all doing well. Thanks for you prayers, now you can enjoy with us the fruit of our and your labor (in praying:-)

NEWS!

As of last night, E was at the hospital and ready for her C-section. She evidently had one with her son, so she is having one this pregnancy also. We have been praying all night for E, the baby and the doctors, and trying to get a little sleep. The sleep part hasn't really happened for me that well. We are calling the Bethany cell phone at 9 am today to find our more details and to find out if and when we can come to meet our little one!!! PLEASE PRAY for E, for the birthparent counselor that she will be able to minister effectively to E, and that God would be with the sweet little child. Pray for peace and comfort and discernment for us all. More to come!!!

STILL waiting

We heard from Carolyn this morning. Still no news. They informed us that E has passed her due date..................... and that they would let us know when something changes. They don't know when her next Dr. appointment is but the assume soon. Just wanted to let you all know that we know nothing more. Can you tell I am tired of waiting??? Just being honest here. We are just so darn excited and can't hardly stand it! Oh well, it will come. I am sure it is difficult for Bethany because they have to care for the best interest of the birthmom, the baby AND us. Me and my sister in law, Abby, decided yesterday this would be a stubborn little child! Either that or late all the time like me! Keeping you posted.......

Due Day

Well, March 16th has come and almost gone (for us anyways) and still no baby. We have heard nothing at all. No news good or bad. So we are STILL waiting. The anticipation is crazy! We rented No Country for Old Men tonight and are about to watch it so that we can just take our minds off things for a while. Maybe it will work. While waiting this weekend for the call, we had a great time! Got to attend Luke McCrary's wedding (my friend Megan killed in 2004 by drunk driver...her brother), had dinner with good friends for Hollie's Birthday, attended church at my parents church, went to TPAC to see Camelot and went to a homecoming party for my cousin Jordon who just got home from Iraq. Full weekend and had a lot of fun, but never really stopped thinking about our baby. Normal, I guess. So, we will keep you all posted, as usual, as soon as we hear anything. Keep praying for peace for both Eric and I and for E and for health and a safe delivery for the baby and E. Love you all!

Melita...we love you!

Melita, I always knew you were much more resourceful and creative than me! We love those names and I when I saw them this morning I immediately called Eric and he did, too! I am just now getting home to post from this morning, but we have made the decision. Cohen Bennett Moore or Marley Faith Moore should soon be joining us! We have sent word to E and along with the reasons for choosing these names. I hope she likes them. I hope she is doing well. Eric spoke with Bethany today and they said as far as they know, she is fine and still no news. But we do have names and can stop looking now!!!! Isn't this so fun! Okay, so I will post again soon, especially if I hear anything. We love you all so much and I know that Cohen/Marley will too!

names...

The names that we have for first names are definitely

Cohen -Boy

Marley- Girl.



Prior to reading the comments on the blog, we had talked last night about doing Marley Faith, in honor of E's reason for picking us as adoptive parents. I'll bet she said the word 'faith' 10 times during our meeting. Then, for Cohen, we thought of doing a french name instead of African since E has some type of educational degree having to do with french language, according to the paperwork. Her parents are Togolese, and when I researched it, the main language spoken there seems to be French. So, we just looked through and found some that we liked, and found Cohen Blaise. The meaning is not significant though. It would just be a french name in honor of her country.



Any other suggestions are more than welcome. Natalie and the Binges, please comment back, I would love to hear your suggestions. And everyone else, too. The boy name is really the one we are struggling with.

waiting....again

Well, waiting seems longer for some reason when I know the baby is really coming. The days drag by, especially when I am working. I seriously checked my phone 20+ times today. Not joking. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

E went to her doctor visit end of last week and all is well as far as we all know. She is still feeling very nauseated all the time. And guess what... she called asking for the names we plan to give the baby depending on if it is a boy or a girl. If you are like me, you are probably thinking, hmmmm...wonder why she wants to know that??? You may not believe it, but she wants to put the name we have chosen for the child on the original birth certificate. What is going on here....this is not like I pictured at all. Turns out I am not the smartest one, nor the one who should be in charge. So, we emailed back, giving the first names, but still have not settled on middle names. Natalie in S.Africa...any suggestions?

We'll keep you posted. Keep praying for E and for baby!

one week and counting.....

Well, E is due to deliver in one week, unless of course she comes early and Eric and I are beside ourselves with anticipation and excitement. We just really can not wait to meet this child. I can't wait to hold him/her and kiss his/her sweet cheeks. I have thought of E every day since we met her, praying for her each time I think of her. I feel a closeness to her that I wonder if she feels to me. Probably not. But I just can't help it. I have a deep sense of love and gratitude for her. Even if she decides to parent, I still think I will feel these feelings toward her. I really believe that God placed us in her life, even if it doesn't end up being for very long. I completely expect that we will be eternally linked through our child, but again, she has a choice to parent or to place the baby with us. As much as you think you want to prepare yourself for the worst, I have also found myself not being able to do that. I can not make myself feel a detachment from this child and this mom and I don't want to. Eric and I have decided that we are going to give all our love and prayer and feelings and devotion to this family starting 10 days ago, no matter what could or will happen. If she chooses to parent, then we can at least know that we gave her a choice. It will be more difficult on us this way. But we feel that the baby and E deserve nothing less. I don't want to think back on this time and feel like we gave less than we could've to the experience just because we wanted to protect ourselves from hurt. We have already experienced some fairly significant hurt and we are still living, still breathing, still here....so if the outcome hurts, I think we'll make it. However, I think this will turn out just fine!

Sooooooo, to answer your question, Tracy, I will say again, we are ecstatic, jumping for joy, crazily giddy about being parents. Eric looked at me the other day and actually said, "I'm like....giddy" with a huge grin on his face. Not sure if I said this in the last blog, but he was just so precious when I told him E had chosen us. Sticking his head in my chest, crying, laughing, kind of in disbelief...he was so cute. I love doing this with him. I love life with him. I can't imagine it without him. Good thing I don't have to. We had fun today, running erands, grocery shopping, and of course doing a little baby shopping, too! We actually just finished staining and painting a little chest of drawers and a really awesome toy chest for the baby's room. We did some 'cleaning out' to make room in our 'cozy' home for this new little one to join us. oh, and Riley is really excited (our dog). She wags her tail like crazy when we talk about baby.
girl name: Marley
boy name: Cohen
What do ya think??? We don't have any really great middle names, but are thinking of doing an African name in honor of E. We'll see. We are on top of the world and will share with everyone when we know something. One week and counting......

I also want to remind myself by writing typing this "aloud".... or saying it to someone else....
My God who has been faithful to me time and time again in countless ways and instances, despite ME....is faithful to this child who is inside of E and to the child, whether this one or a different one, He will bring into our home forever. This journey isn't so much about me or about Eric and I being able to experience parenthood, as it is about God's faithfulness and His love and His provision.

Praise the Lord. I will praise the Lord. I will praise the Lord all my life. I will sing praise to my God as long as I live...Blessed are those who put their hope in the Lord their God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth and the ocean. He made everything in them. The Lord remains faithful forever. He stands up for those who are beaten down. He gives food to hungry people...The Lord lifts up those who feel helpless...The Lord watches over the outsiders who live in our land. He takes good care of children whose fathers have died. He also takes good care of widows. But he causes evil people to fail in everything they do. The Lord rules forever. The God of Zion will rule for all time to come. Praise the Lord.

Psalm 146

amazing

Yesterday morning we went to meet the birthmother. As you can imagine, anxiety, nervousness, excitement, anticipation.....so many emotions running HIGH in the Moore house. We have learned so much and our hearts have been changed so much about this person we call a birthmother. What should her role be, she would know her? Will she like us? Will we love and respect her or fear her? After several months of this adoption journey, experiencing God sized things, He is again allowing me to experience things that are from Him, and such a blessing. Thursday night, Eric and I just talked and talked about what we want to know about her, what do we want her to know about us....we debated on not seeming too excited, for her sake, or should we seem excited and not worry about what it looks like. After all, as we have said before, this is a very difficult place to be and thing to have to deal with, and we don't want to make it harder, right??? We finally decided that being ourselves was most important and really focusing on her was important. We ended the evening with a sweet time of prayer together of her, for us and for the baby.

And then, Friday morning came! Of course we got there early and talked with carolyn a while about new info about E (This is what I will refer to her as so I can stop typing 'birthmom.' When E got there, they came in and told us she was "very nervous" but happy to be there. We walked in to find a beautiful African woman sitting in a chair, seeming a little shy and I could feel her nervousness. We introduced ourselves and then a moment of silence.....I asked her how she was feeling, she said very nauseated as she has been the entire time, but all in all pretty good. Leslie (birthmother counselor) asked E to share with us what she liked about our profile and why she chose us. E began to tell us of how important her faith is to her and she loved that it is the number one thing for us, too. She proceeded to tell us of how she came into the situation that she is in, what the circumstances were and why she has chosen adoption. She is from Africa, with the rest of her family still living in Africa. Her English was pretty good, but she had a very thick African accent (is accent the right word to use here??? what i mean is that you could definitely tell she is not american) I am not going to share all the details on this blog about her situation for many reasons, but mainly because I want everyone to know something more about her. This woman is so amazing. Several posts ago, I wrote about what I felt like a birthmother might be going through and how that we want to honor her decision to choose life and to be so selfless that she puts her childs needs and well being before herself. Well, we are getting the opportunity right now to do that for E. She shared with us her belief about abortion and then about what she knows about herself and her limitations. She knows that she cannot possible give this third child (she's a single mom of 2, working full time) the life he/she deserves or will even need. She was just so amazing and beautiful sitting there, with so much humility....really, a ton of humility. It has been a while since I have seen that kind of humility and that amount of it displayed and carried out in a person. While she was humble and seemingly fighting some shame, we still sensed an enormous amount of strength coming out of her. Eric asked her if there was something that she really wanted us to be sure and tell our child about her, here was her response: "first, please teach him/her about God and Jesus and teach how to have relationship with god. But second, please tell him/her that I did not give him/her away because I did not love him/her but because I love him/her so much. I cannot be selfish and want to keep the baby just because it is mine when I know I cannot take care of it and provide for it. Please tell him/her how much I love him/her.....oh, and just love him/her with all you got."
E loves music, she loves to sing and play guitar and she even writes songs! She loves the color purple and lasagna (other than african food) even though it isn't healthy, she says! She comes from large family, she is one of like 9 children, I think. Her father is a pastor in Africa, and her parents have been married for a very long time.

I keep reading over this post, wanting to change things or write different things, because I just am not doing a good job of giving what took place yesterday the justice and weight and beauty that it is deserving of. It was the most amazing, most humbling, most Godly thing I have ever been a part of...ever. She was wonderful and we love her so much. She has been on my mind since we left and I bet this is just the beginning of that.