I recently took a spiritual gift test that I found online. I found the results very interesting, and very challenging. My highest score was in mercy showing! Some of you may find that funny, especially those of you who know me well or have known me long enough to have seen quite the opposite behavior from me :) whether directed at yourself or someone else. It was interesting though because the description of what mercy showers are like really described me well (again, not always, due to my sinful nature). I felt challenged by this because whether the test was accurate or not, I felt compelled to really examine myself and think about how I am or am not showing mercy to others day to day and staying true to who I believe God has and is calling me to be as Mandy, wife to Eric, mom to Cohen, sister to Bryan, co worker and caregiver to many, etc. Ironically, I am actually reading the book whats so amazing about grace. Slowly but surely I am really getting into some challenging stuff there as well, and all pertaining to the showing mercy/giving grace and forgiveness to others theme. I have these fleeting thoughts from time to time about what I can do on behalf of the orphaned children of the world. The thoughts and dreams range from educating others in some form to adopting again to ministering to birthparents to lots of other ideas.... but dreams seem to be short lived with me and I decide that someone else will do it, or that I don't have the gifts or ability to do anything. I was reading today on Rebekah's blog, a girl who comments on our posts from time to time and is also on a journey to adopt. I appreciate her perspective so much:

"I am excited for motherhood and all that comes with. I am excited we are walking the path less chosen and that we are part of the solution and no longer ignoring the problem. I am excited for the voice God has passioned in me to bring change. I am excited that we get to shake heaven and earth to make a difference in the life of one…someday two…and maybe three…"

I guess all this rambling about the random thoughts in my head are being put on this blog about adoption because I really feel that my heart has been changed and passioned as Rebekah says to bring about a difference for the orphaned, even if only for Cohen, but I am feeling that it won't be just for him that change comes. I pray that I begin to really develop and put to use the gifts God has given me, even if not perfectly. I pray that I not be idle just because. I have seen God do great things in my life and can look at His word for proof that He uses the ordinary to do extraordinary things, so why not me?