Thursday, December 27, 2007


At my interview last week, I was able to read through some of the profiles that other's have done. As I sat in the family room at Bethany, I found myself overwhelmed with emotions for the birthmother. I read this one dad to be's letter to her. He was telling her how courageous and brave that she is in her decision to choose life for her child. He was telling her how that he did not know if he could do the same if he were in her shoes. He was so real and honest that it caused me to really think as if I were in her place for a moment. I just sat and cried, thinking of what she will go through. Separation, grief, loss... of her child. I know that this is reality and that these situations are what they are. I understand that it was their choices that got them there in the first place. But then I also know all the bad decisions I have made in my life and a lot of bad ones many of you reading this blog have probably made. I have not yet suffered consequences like the ones that she will suffer in making this decision. I deserve it as much as she does. I cannot judge her or look down on her because of where she is. I used to generally judge birthmother's, although not purposefully. When we started this process, I remember feeling this same sadness for the children that are orphaned...and thinking, 'what good person could abandon her baby?' While I know this does happen and situations aren't always good intentioned, I have learned that a lot of birthmother's are acting out of courage, not shame... strength, not weakness. They are in reality, not a dreamworld, and taking responsibility for the place that they are in and the place that they have put this innocent being in. And so, as I was saying, I felt so overwhelmed with emotions of sadness and heart ache for the mother of my child. She will experience something that I hope to never experience. I commend her for her love for her child which drives her to choose life for it and choose a better life than she can give to it. I hope that when faced with such adversity and difficult decisions, I will have the same amount of character.


Anonymous said...

And Yes, isn't that an interesting thought. Decisions. And more decisions. If life had no decisions that we had to make, then what would life be? And, when we make bad decisions, it is usually because we are not paying attention to a God that loves us, and has provided answers for us in scripture. And when we follow His instructions, and strive to the calling he has for us, we make righteous decisions. Praise God!

But you are right Mandy, life is about choices. The Bible speaks about how we are to live. It does not point out every specific choice, but it does give guidance to make right choices. And isn't it wonderful that even when we make wrong choices, grace abounds even more!

Possibly a 'right' prayer for your birthmother would be peace. Peace that she first knows God, and is saved. Peace that she is making the right decision concerning her baby. And long lasting peace, that when she thinks of this decision in the future, that God grants her Grace, and a calm spirit.

Here are some decisions coming up:
1. what color will the baby's room be?
2. At what age will he/she be allowed to eat chocolate?
3. When can I take the baby fishing?
4. Night light or no night light?
5. If it is a boy, knee socks or no knee socks (please say no).
6. Password for internet protection that they cannot figure out.
7. Inside/outside toys--which ones?
8. Pancake syrup---maple or Karo?
9. Proper hair length after they discover sissors.
10. At what age is a child introduced to Levis?
11. Bedtime
12. 2nd bedtime
13. final bedtime
14. When do you start brushing their teeth?
15. Potty training by 'cold turkey method'?
16. Barney
17. Pencils, when can they be trusted with pencils?
18. Boat driving at high speeds---when? (I am thinking 3.)
19. washcloth or scrubby?
20. sandbox etiquette
21. room tent making materials
22. security blankets
23. Phone answering techniques
24. McDonalds or Sonic?
25. Slim Jims---when should a child have their first Slim Jim?

Lots of decisions. Lots of fun.

Anonymous said...

Hey Man and Eric!

I just wanted to let you guys know what a blessing it is for me to read your blog and see the Lord working in your lives and the faith both of you have in him. EVERYDAY I check to see if you have posted anything. I just love reading your blog!!!! I am so excited for you guys and can not wait to meet your beautiful baby. JR and I are praying for both you daily. We love you so much.
Megan Wade

"He upholds the cause of the oppressed...He sustains the fatherless and the widow" -psalm 146:7&9