Saturday, November 15, 2008

Spirit of Adoption

Mandy and I have dealt with many different reactions about our story of adoption. Honestly, most of these reactions have been extremely positive but we have run into some that have been negative. As of late, it seems I am being questioned even more about our decision to adopt a child of a different race. I find myself really struggling with how to respond to these people in a loving non frustrating way.

I can understand its only natural to want to have children through birth. Giving birth is natural and was designed by God to come out of a loving relationship with your spouse. I am assuming thats why people struggle with the idea of "adoption" so much. We all yearn for things to work the way we supposed they were designed to work from the beginning. However, we live in a broken world. God has commanded us to be fruitful and multiply and has told us that procreation and adoption are equally God-ordained ways of fulfilling this command. Adoption is just as natural as procreation, if we expose ourselves to orphans. In the same way that God makes a place for us in his family through adoption, God wants orphans to experience the permanence of being placed into a family and having their deepest desires fulfilled as well

To me parenting is much more than blood lines. A biological child is not guaranteed a secure realtionship with his/her parents. I see this everyday in education. When you consider it from a relational perspective, parenting is really about trust, time, and committment, which amounts to love. These aspects of parenting are beyond blood. Adoption is God's perfect plan for transforming orphans into sons and daughters, regardless of skin color, who are set in families to His divine purpose in a broken world.

Cohen is the greatest thing that has ever happened to Mandy and I. The adoption of Cohen was definitely Gods Perfect Plan for Mandy and I. We are certain of that!



KLTTX said...

This is beautiful! Congratulations again to you guys. You make a great looking family.

Ashley Jene said...

We, too, have a mixed family. When we made the decision to adopt our daughter we didn't even think of her skin...or the fact that OUR blood doesn't run through her, we just knew that God intended for her to be our daughter. I didn't realize how many people would think differently about her being in our family, because it was never an 'issue' with us. Congrats to you guys...may God richly bless you as your little C grows and grows!

alicia said...

amen!! well said! and I am soo glad you have such a amazing view on adoption, it is really inspiring ;)

beth spray said...

amen! thank you for that word! adoption is such an amazing picture of what God did for us and it is so amazing He has given us the opportunity to do the same!!!! thank you for sharing!!

Karen said...

really well said...a blessing to hear your heart! Cohen is one blessed little dude to be chosen as your son as you and Mandy are blessed to be chosen as his mommy and daddy!

We love you guys!

The Barfield's said...

thank you eric. i am glad that God didn't decide that only perfect people Just Like Him could come into His kingdom. I applaud you both, and all the other parents of adopted children, like skin or otherwise!, for showing us a flesh and blood portrayal of how God has taken us into His family.

Kemi said...

As an occasional reader of your blog I just wanted to comment.
From a Biblical standpoint adoption—both in the physical sense and in the spiritual sense—is shown in a favorable light in Scripture. Both those who adopt and those who are adopted can receive abundant blessings and joy. Even Jesus was adopted by Mary’s husband, Joseph and he turned out alright. :-) The fact that you have so much love in your heart that you willingly shower that love on a child not necessarily of a biological union speaks volumes. Don’t worry about people who take issues with your choices for whatever reasons. It’s their issue and they will or won’t get over it. God has seen your heart and will bless you and your family accordingly. Cohen is blessed to have you and your wife and you are blessed to have Cohen.

On a personal note, one of my good friends was adopted by a white couple 30+ years ago. During a conversation she once said to me “Despite our differences, I know my parents love me. If they didn’t love me, they would have never adopted me.” She was always so self assured about that that at times I was envious. LOL She fully acknowledges that at times growing up was difficult but her circumstances allowed for an open communication between herself and her parents. Because of the open diaogue she feels that today both she and her parents are better people for it. More loving, tolerant, respectful and appreciative of other races.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps it is because my child is nearly a grown man but one thing I know for sure is that among the ties that bind us, DNA is the very least of them.

I found your blog on the sidebar of another blog I read, but I looked through the pictures and I see a family. A loving, blessed, strong, true family.

Those who do not understand yet will come to that knowledge through watching your family grow. Bless you all.

Tracy T. said...

I've had the privelege of knowing several multi-racial adoptive families over the years and I believe that each and every one of them are brought together by God Himself! Adoption is such a beautiful thing!!

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